


We can take a bit of a breather

by angelheadedhipster



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Drug Use, M/M, Shotgunning, The Pacific Northwest, Weed, atmospheric descriptions of sunsets, jamie waggling his eyebrows, tyler "3.5 percent body fat" is a huge lightweight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 20:49:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14293167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelheadedhipster/pseuds/angelheadedhipster
Summary: Tyler laughs. “Ok. Ok, cool.” He’s excited, he realizes. He likes surprises, and he likes when people take him cool places. He likes that Jamie wants to go somewhere with him.





	We can take a bit of a breather

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Prompt 38: "Going for a drive and getting high by a lake/good view. Submissive-Tyler and lots of touching. Bonus if you can include shotgunning"
> 
> You asked for a lake but I hope the Pacific Ocean is amenable!! I have never been to Vancouver Island, but I was in Olympic National Park last summer and its probably basically the same? 
> 
> Title is from a Hip song OF COURSE
> 
> Thanks to hi_irashay for a last minute beta because I certainly did not expect to write this, and for her useful comparisons to Usher songs

Jamie usually invites the team up to Vancouver Island during the offseason. It's a bonding thing, but also Tyler thinks Jamie gets a little lazy about being social, and he pulls captain’s privilege or prerogative or whatever and makes everyone come to him.

Tyler doesn’t mind. BC is beautiful in the summer, and he has some old friends to see in this area, too - kids from juniors, family friends. If he’s going to be away from the dogs, being outside with Jamie isn't the worst thing.

Plus, it’s Jamie. He and Tyler spend a lot of time together during the season, and now that they aren’t, Tyler, well, misses him. It’s a familiarity thing. It’s a weird adjustment going from seeing the same person every day, sometimes multiple times a day, to… not. They text a lot, but it fades as time goes on, as they get farther away from Dallas. How could it not? Tyler’s busy and Jamie isn't the world’s best texter. He can be a bit terse. And Tyler has a tendency to let things build up and forget to respond to stuff for days when he’s off with his friends - anyway, he’s missed Jamie. Going to Vancouver Island isn’t a hardship, and it’s nice to see Jamie, every time.

So Tyler hasn’t bought a plane ticket back to Toronto, yet. He figured he’d hang out with the guys, and then hang around with Jamie and Jordie for a bit - he misses Jordie, too, and the Benn Brother Experience - and leave when he felt like leaving. Not a big deal.

The Benns are in their element in Victoria - that slow steadiness they have makes sense with the landscape, in some way. Jamie has everyone over for grilled meats and beer and video games, and they all revel in being able to drink and smoke whatever they want during the offseason (which is not actually true, but they enjoy it anyway).

It’s a fun couple of days. There’s always someone around to hang out with, someone who wants to go for a bike ride or play NHL Threes. Tyler gets to golf as much as he wants, which is a fucking privilege, honestly. Things feel really laid back and loose, and it's nice to be around people without any particular intention or pressure. Just bros hanging around, spending time together, not doing anything at all. He almost never gets to do that, and he feels himself evening out, his whole body relaxing. It’s always a transition to not be dreading every twinge and ache, worrying about how much it will affect his game, wondering if he should tell the trainer. In the offseason he can wake up with a sore neck, and just roll with it. It’s kind of awesome.

Tyler’s thoughts are all over the place, the way they get without anything to focus on, and he lets them spiral. He’s not trying to do anything at the moment, just sitting on the deck, looking out at the trees. Jamie walks up behind him, holding a beer.

“Klinger just left,” Jamie says. Tyler makes a noise of acknowledgement, not engaging fully.“He says to tell you that you owe him, and that if you hassle him about anything over the summer he WILL post that video,” Jamie says, and Tyler can hear the smile in his voice.

Tyler groans, but he’s laughing, too. “That sneaky Swedish bastard. Can’t trust him,” he says.

Jamie walks around, sits perched on the arm of the deck chair next to Tyler. “Jordie’s going to go back to his house for a bit to hang out with Juice. I think he’s leaving soon.”

“Ok,” says Tyler, and turns his neck slowly to look at Jamie. “So it’s just us, now, yeah?”

Jamie takes a swig of his beer, and nods. “You’re sticking around a bit, right?”

“Yeah,” Tyler says, and then stops, feeling a sudden stab of anxiety. “I mean, if that’s ok…?” he trails off, hoping the question comes across as casual enough, but that he still gets an answer.

“Of course, man,” says Jamie, and the smile on his face feels real. Jamie’s face gets so different when he smiles. Less heavy, somehow. “Always happy to have you.”

“Cool,” says Tyler, and he looks back out at the trees. “I don’t want to have to pack up all my shit, anyway.”

Jamie giggles and Tyler can feel him rolling his eyes. “I literally don’t know how you end up with shit in every room in this house,” he says, “but I guess you can keep it there for now.”

It’s a chill day, quiet, the two of them moving around each other in the house, friendly but without talking much. Tyler responds to some texts he’s been neglecting, and Skypes with his dogs for an hour. Or his dog walker, but, y'know. 

Jamie pulls a bunch of leftovers out of the fridge for an early dinner, around when they start running out of things to do and are getting hungry. They microwave some meat and eat the last of chips out of the bottoms of bags, making more of a mess than two people have any right to.

Jamie shrugs. “I’ve been playing host all week,” he says. “I don’t feel like cleaning or doing anything.”

“Dude, you know I don’t care,” Tyler says. “It’s your house. Pass me the blueberries, yeah?”

Jamie smiles at him, again, slower, but it still covers his whole face.

Tyler puts some of his plates in the dishwasher, and looks vaguely at the dishes in the sink.

“Ugh, no way,” Jamie says. “I’ll get the cleaners to come soon.”

“Nah, I can do some, it’s not a big deal,” Tyler says.

“I don’t want to,” Jamie says, “and I want you to hang out with me. So no dishes.”

Tyler feels himself smiling, a goofy grin he can’t will off of his face. He feels warmer, and shuffles a bit where he’s standing.

“You want to go for a drive?” Jamie asks.

“Uh, sure,” Tyler says. “Where? What are we doing?”

“I have an idea,” Jamie says. “Just let me grab a sweater and stuff, I’ll be back down in a second.”

“Ok,” Tyler says, and it feels easy to go along with it. It’s always easy to go along with Jamie. “I should get a jacket?”

“I’m sure I’ll find like four of yours as I walk to my room and back,” Jamie says. “I’ll grab one.”

Tyler laughs. “Ok. Ok, cool.” He’s excited, he realizes. He likes surprises, and he likes when people take him cool places. He likes that Jamie wants to go somewhere with him.

 

Tyler doesn’t know the Island, and he has no idea where they’re going, but he finds he doesn’t mind. What’s the worst that could happen? He’s driving around a beautiful place with his bro.  A bro who has deigned to put on rock music that Tyler actually likes, which he knows is a fairly big concession, given the arguments they’ve had for literally years at this point.

Tyler likes the Hip. They make him think of home, and his mom, and Jamie likes them, too.

Gordie is singing about a dreamy dream where the high school is dead and stark when Jamie pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. The sun hasn’t quite set yet - it gets dark so late, this time of year - and the sky is a light blue, shading into pink and yellow around the sun. Tyler can’t quite make out Jamie’s expression when he looks across the car at him, as he takes the key out of the ignition and opening the door.

“Uh, where are we?” Tyler asks.

“You’ll see,” Jamie says.

Tyler looks around exaggeratedly as he gets out of the car, slamming the door behind him. “I’m trying to see, man, and I’ve got nothing. Did you take me out here to murder me and stick my body behind a tree?”

Jamie giggles. “Way better places to hide a body on the Island than here,” he says. “Plus, I mean, there’s the whole ocean.”

Tyler turns and stares at Jamie, who’s walking off the road onto the shoulder. “That’s the creepiest fucking thing you’ve ever said to me, man.”

Jamie turns and waggles his eyebrows at him, but keeps walking. “You coming?”

Tyler throws his hands into the air, and laughs. “After that?”  

Jamie laughs, but he’s still walking.

Tyler shakes his head and jogs to catch up. “Live on the edge, that's what I always say,” he says, and falls into step a bit behind Jamie as he walks along the side of the road.

“You do say that,” Jamie says. “You do it, too.”

“I what?” Tyler asks. He’s surprised Jamie is actually taking his throwaway line seriously. The air has started to cool and he’s glad he put a sweater on, though he pushes the sleeves up. It’s so quiet out here.

“You live on the edge, sometimes,” Jamie says, but he doesn’t seem to have any particular feelings about it, keeps talking just like they have been. This is just an observation about Tyler.

“I guess so?” Tyler says, his voice see-sawing in tone. He’s not really sure where this conversation is going, and would be fine if it stopped now. “I don't know.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Jamie says. “You like things to be exciting, right?”

“Yeah,” Tyler says, and he’s quiet a minute, listening to the sound his footsteps make on the path. The trail has veered off the road a bit, and they’re walking through pine trees. The branches are almost thick enough to block out the remaining sunlight, but not quite. Needles cover the ground, and their footfalls are soft.

It makes him brave, makes him think about what Jamie said. It feels like Jamie is taking this conversation seriously, so Tyler tries to, also. Jamie is good like that - when he listens it feels like he’s really listening.

“I like things to be exciting, yeah, but I also like knowing where the edges are, y'know?” Tyler says, and he’s almost startled to realize he’s telling the truth. He’s never thought this through before. “Like, if I can do things that are kind of risky, then I can find out what’s ok, and what’s too far.” He’s sort of glad that he and Jamie aren’t looking at each other, that they’re side by side, their eyes on their feet.

Jamie makes a considering noise. “I get that, I think.” There’s a pause, and Tyler’s about to ask where the fuck they are going when Jamie adds, “But then sometimes you fall off the edge, right? I mean, you have to, if that’s how you find out where the edge is.”

Tyler nods, forgetting that Jamie isn’t looking at him. “Yeah, sometimes, I guess.” Now he’s thinking about Boston, and about a billion other things. “But even falling off of one edge helps you see where the other edges are, y'know? Like, who’s with me, who my friends are. What actually happens when bad things happen, what I can do about it. And that’s good to know too, y’know? Like, I’m on top of a cliff, but it’s not a cliff, it's just part of a trail, and falling off one part helps me see where the rest of the trail is.” He laughs before Jamie can respond, sharp and loud. This is more touchy-feely emotional bullshit than he’s used to for one day, and he wants to stop babbling. “This makes no fucking sense, man, sorry,” Tyler says. “Where are we _going_?”

“We’re basically there, actually,” Jamie says. They’ve only been walking a few minutes, but the road is totally out of sight, nothing around them but trees. The path looks well traveled, through, with some gravel on it and carefully maintained edges, so they can’t totally be off the grid. _Yet_ , Tyler thinks. Besides, he trusts Jamie.

“Here,” Jamie says, and the path turns to the left a bit, and then they’re stepping out of the trees onto a flat rock outcrop, and the entirety of the ocean is below them.

“Whoa,” Tyler says.

“I know,” Jamie says, but he doesn’t sound smug. He sounds reverent.

The Pacific is dark under them, so blue and wide it looks grey, almost black. The sun is starting to set, and the sky is turning from blue to gold, and passing through all kinds of soft pastels in between. Wisps of clouds are soft violet shapes in the sky. The sun is reflecting in the water, turning it gold and shimmering, making the indentations of the waves sharp in the path of the sunlight. The islands in the Sound are low rounded shapes, becoming less distinct towards the horizon. The sharpness of the pine trees around them bleeds into the starkness of the water, and then the horizon becomes more and more mottled, like its fading into the future.

“This is amazing,” Tyler says.

“I know,” Jamie says. “I was hoping we’d be in time for the sunset, and uh, it worked out.” He walks forward, skipping across the rock until he’s at the point. Tyler follows him, listening to the crunch under his feet. The air feels so clean, and the world feels so big.

“This is awesome,” Tyler says. “Is it, like, a special place? Do people know about it?” There is no one around them, which seems unbelievable for such a beautiful spot, but also Tyler feels like it had to be that way. This spot is Jamie’s, and Jamie brought him, and no one else could be there.

“Yeah, I mean, my family knows about it, for sure. Jordie and Jenny and I come here sometimes,” Jamie says. “Sometimes there are other people, but honestly, there are a million spots like this on the Island.”

Tyler rolls his eyes. “Yes, Vancouver Island is a paradise, I know.”

Jamie looks back at him and grins. His teeth look very white in the golden fading light. Tyler walks towards him until they are standing side by side, the tips of their toes poking out into space.

“I like this particular spot because you can sit down,” Jamie says, and he does. His legs are dangling off the side of the rock outcropping, and he’s still grinning. He’s glowing, Tyler thinks. He looks so happy to be here. He looks like that on the ice, sometimes, especially during tight games. Like he’s right where he belongs. The setting sun is reflecting off his hair - a soft red color, almost orange.

Tyler folds his legs and sits next to Jamie. He tries to keep a respectable couple of inches between them, but he can’t help himself, and he sits down too close, leans his shoulder into Jamie’s. Jamie leans towards him, too, his bicep warm against Tyler’s, and it feels nice. Safe, being there with him, even though sliding three or four inches forward would mean Tyler’s perfectly honed NHL body would splatter against a cliff.

Live on the edge, he thinks.

Jamie is rustling with something, and Tyler looks over and realizes he’s pulling a joint out of his pocket. There had been weed around the past few days at Jamie’s house, and Tyler thinks this is one of the joints Jordie rolled. The Benns like weed. They live on the Island - of course they do. Tyler had had a hit or two, here and there, but not much. It’s one of those off-season treats that feel like freedom, like vacation. There’s no way to smoke during the season - too many people monitoring their behavior, periodically testing their blood and watching every aspect of their bodies. Tyler wouldn’t, anyway, doesn’t want anything to slow him down if he can help it. And Dallas is absolutely not the place to get caught with illegal drugs. But Vancouver Island, during the offseason - sure. Why not.

Jamie catches Tyler’s eye, and raises his eyebrows, holding up the joint.

“Hell yeah, man, that’s a great idea,” Tyler says.

“Right?” Jamie says. He pulls a lighter from his pocket with his other hand, and Tyler’s looking at his fingers, thick and wide, not particularly dexterous. Jamie’s shoulder is shifting against Tyler as he moves, and Tyler feels acutely aware of it, the solidity of it against him.

The spark of the lighter flame seems very bright in the fading light, and the tip of the joint glows red as Jamie inhales. He holds the smoke in for a minute before exhaling slowly. A cloud of smoke rises from his mouth, thick and white before disappearing into the air. Tyler is looking at Jamie’s lips as he blows out, pink skin stretching taut as his mouth moves.

Jamie holds the joint out towards Tyler, and Tyler takes it, his fingers brushing Jamie’s as he does so, lingering there. Tyler kicks his feet, enjoying the feeling of his body moving amidst so much space, and feeling a restlessness run through him, anticipating… something.

“You want me to light it for you?” Jamie asks, and Tyler feels himself blush, a bit. He likes weed well enough, but he’s not really a smoker, not like Jamie is or the Benn family. Drinking always seemed easier, something he understood and knew how his body reacted to. The people he hung out with were more into drinking, anyway, so that’s what Tyler did. Now he feels a bit embarrassed about it, that there’s something Jamie knows about that he doesn’t. He feels, sharply, lame.

“Uh, I think I can do it,” Tyler says, and reaches out for the lighter. Jamie looks at him for a beat, quizzically, and Tyler rolls his eyes. “It’s not that hard.”

“Ok, champ,” Jamie says, smiling with the corner of his mouth.

Tyler lights the joint, inhales, and feels that burning sharpness in his lungs. It’s immediately too much, and he starts coughing, the harshness of the smoke in his throat suddenly unbearable.  

He looks over, and Jamie’s smiling slightly. He looks like he’s trying to hold back from laughing.

“Oh, fuck off,” Tyler croaks. He doesn’t like not being good at things, and he feels like he’s 16 again, lying about whether he’s done drugs to his liney in juniors.

“No, no,” Jamie says. “I shouldn’t have let you do that - Jordie isn’t that great at rolling these, the filters don’t really work.”

Tyler manages to continue glaring, between coughing fits. “You just wanted to see me suffer.”

“No!” Jamie says, laughing. “It’s cute.”

Tyler is saved from responding to that by coughing again. By now his entire face is red, and the tips of his ears are burning.

Jamie puts a hand on his shoulder, and Tyler leans into the solidity of him. It feels steadier now, and he’s able to breathe, only rasping a little.

“Here,” Jamie says, taking the joint from Tyler’s hand. His chest is turned toward Tyler, his hand still on Tyler’s shoulder. Tyler watches him light the joint, and inhale, and Tyler thinks he’s probably staring. Jamie’s eyes look huge right now; he can see some of the open sky reflected in them. Jamie holds his breath, holds in the smoke that he just inhaled, and tugs Tyler’s shoulder towards him, moving all of Tyler closer to his face.

Tyler’s face must show his confusion because Jamie points at his mouth with the hand holding the joint, and makes an exaggerated expression with his eyes, his mouth still closed.

“Oh!” Tyler says, and tilts his head so his lips align with Jamie’s. He remembers doing this at parties when he was younger, remembers some of the cooler stoner boys shotgunning hits with the girls they thought were hot. Sometimes the cooler older boys shotgunned hits with Tyler, too, if they thought he was hot.

He feels tingly all over.

Jamie opens his mouth and blows a plume of smoke straight out, collected and careful. Tyler opens his mouth and he’s not sure he does it right, but he tries to breathe in, and he can feel fuzziness around the edge of his lips. Maybe. A little.

He opens his eyes and Jamie’s face is so close. Tyler’s heart flips. He is suddenly, acutely, aware that they are sitting on the edge of a cliff right now.

Tyler licks his lips. “Again?” he says, softly. He feels like he’s in the middle of a moment, trapped in amber or stuck under glass, a bubble of time. Jamie’s eyes are focused on his mouth, and it makes his lashes look long against his cheeks as he looks down.

“Another hit, I mean,” Tyler says.

“Oh. Right, yeah,” Jamie says, and backs up a bit, bringing the joint back to his lips. It’s still lit, and Tyler can smell it, burning paper and that spicy, rich aroma of marijuana. Jamie inhales quickly, and his face is moving closer to Tyler’s as his hand lowers. The hand still on Tyler’s shoulder tightens, and Tyler goes with the pressure, leaning even closer to Jamie, swaying under his momentum.

Jamie’s mouth opens and Tyler watches the muscles in his lips shift, the skin at the edges, the softness of the peak in the center. Jamie breathes out and Tyler can hear it, the susurration loud in the quiet, so close to him. Tyler tilts his head and he tries to breathe in, but he can’t help it, he can’t help himself. He sways the extra half inch closer to Jamie, pulled by the gravity that Jamie always exudes on him, and they’re kissing, mouths open and wet, soft and gentle.

Tyler’s not sure for a moment if Jamie is part of this or if Tyler’s just taking advantage of his open mouth, but then Jamie tilts his chin down and leans back slightly, catching Tyler’s bottom lip between his teeth. Tyler almost moans, it’s a near thing, a rush of breath. Jamie surges towards him, and suddenly there are two arms around Tyler, a hand running through his hair, and Jamie is definitely kissing him back.

It feels sweet, passionate, but careful and firm. Like Jamie himself. Tyler spares a second to wonder what happened to the joint, but he doesn’t care.

They’d kissed once before - after the game that won them the Central, back in 2016. That had been drunk and messy, fueled by adrenaline and excitement, and they had both laughed it off, and that was that. Nothing had ever come of it, but Tyler thought about it all the time.

This feels different - not hurried or desperate. There is no event pushing them towards each other, no outside circumstances, just the inexorable pull that has always been between them. The gravity that Tyler is always helpless to resist. Being around Jamie feels like coming home, and Tyler always wants to be there.

Tyler doesn’t know how long they kiss, but when Jamie eventually pulls back, he notices that the joint on the rock next to them has gone out. They take another few hits, alternating between smoking and shotgunning and kissing. They don’t say anything - their mouths are too busy with each other when they aren’t smoking. The light around them fades, slowly but surely, and the sun sets into the water, looking like it’s melting, liquid gold fading behind the horizon. Jamie traces Tyler’s jawline with his teeth, and Tyler runs his fingers through Jamie’s hair, the gel sticking to his fingertips. The air around them cools, and Tyler starts to shiver in his hoodie.

Jamie looks at him, smiling. “Cold?”

“Nah,” Tyler says.

Jamie cocks an eyebrow. He runs his hand down Tyler’s arm, can clearly feel the shivers in Tyler’s shoulders.

“Yeah, ok, a little, cold,” Tyler says ruefully. “We live in Dallas now! I’ve lost my tolerance.”

Jamie giggles, the sound even breathier and threadier than usual. Tyler’s giggling, too, he can’t help himself, and then they are both laughing, stoned and silly and grinning at each other.

“Let’s go home, yeah?” Jamie says, once they’ve calmed down a bit.

“Yeah,” Tyler says, but he doesn’t move to get up, just leans further into Jamie, scooting further into the crook of his elbow. The ocean is darker now, a plum purple color in the fading light. He feels like he’s on top of the world.

“Ok, up you go,” Jamie says, and stands, tugging Tyler with him. Tyler lists towards him, stumbling over his own feet, and giggles. Now that he’s standing he can feel how stoned he is - his skin feels fuzzy, all the colors seem brighter and more dramatic, and his limbs feel heavy. It’s great. Jamie is so warm, next to him.

They giggle the whole way back to the car, stumbling over the path by the light of their phone flashlights.

“Are you gonna be ok to drive?” Tyler asks once they arrive at the car.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Jamie says. He doesn’t seem quite as uncoordinated as Tyler feels, so maybe it’s true. Jamie smokes more often than he does, so it probably hit him less.

Tyler goes to walk to his side of the car but Jamie reaches out, grabs his arm, pulls him closer. “Or maybe I should wait a few minutes, let myself sober up a bit. What do you think we should do?” He’s grinning, and he spins around, jerkily, so that his hands are on Tyler’s biceps and Tyler’s back is against the car.

Tyler can’t keep the wild smile off his face. He’s biting his lip as Jamie leans down, kissing him deep and serious, pushing Tyler back against the car behind them. Tyler feels hemmed in, enveloped, and the cold metal of the car at his back contrasts with the warmth of Jamie’s lips, the long slow movements of his tongue, wet and completely irresistible. He feels totally focused and dialed in to this moment, even as he feels like the atoms of his body are flying free, floating across over the ocean.

They only stop because Tyler shivers again, the warmth of Jamie’s body against his not enough to counteract the darkness and the cold. Jamie laughs, softly, deep in his throat, and runs a hand down Tyler’s neck, fingers skittering.

“Can we go home now?” Tyler says, and he’s not sure if his voice is always that raspy.

Jamie tilts his head, his eyes still on Tyler’s. “I think I’ve sobered up enough,” he says. “Let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this in kind of a fugue state while listening to the Pink Floyd song "Fearless" on repeat, and then I went and took a shower and accidentally planned out the next three chapters. But I'm also the world's slowest writer and I dont want to get anyone's hopes up, so like, that might happen? But its a one shot for now.


End file.
